They Come In Pairs
by SanityIsNotStatistical
Summary: It had been exactly one month since Hermione had declared her love for a red-headed twin to a red-headed twin, the only problem was, it had been the wrong twin. Fred/Hermione. Fred does NOT die!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I decided to write something else that's been bugging me, and I know I'm halfway through Back to the Phoenix but I swear I won't abandon it. I haven't written about a non-canon ship before, or primarily about a relationship yet, so this is new and a bit different for me. Think of this as kind of like a pilot for a new T.V show. **

**Let me know what you think though. Like it? Hate it? Should I carry on with it? Should I go back to writing about angsty Harry pretending to kill himself and stop trying to be remotely entertaining? Let me know folks. Feedback equals my happiness-ya know? P.S This isn't set in any specific year and Fred will not die.**

**Disclaimer: **_**Sigh**_**, same as ever: I don't own anything. Were you expecting anything else?**

They Come In Pairs 

Chapter One 

(And perhaps the only one if this is terrible! lol)

It had been exactly one month since Hermione had declared her love for a red-headed twin _to_ a red-headed twin, the only problem was, it had been the wrong twin; and the chances of anyone but George knowing she was head-over-heels for his brother didn't seem to be changing any time soon.

Hermione had been walking to charms when a freckled arm had reached out from behind a tapestry and yanked her into the secret passage behind it. Her heart leapt for a few short moments when she saw the tall red head in the gloom and then halted quite suddenly, a look of annoyed yet familiar disappointment crossing her face. One of these days she was going to get yanked into a dark corner by the right Weasley twin-for once.

"What do you want George?" her voice betrayed nothing but irritation, carefully concealing the extra notch of self-resentment being etched onto her insides. She had to stop expecting things that were never going to happen.

He grinned and winked at her in a now routine way of his, ignoring the rolling of her eyes and pulling her closer to whisper as a group of noisy third-years strolled past their hiding place. A month ago Hermione would have asked George what the hell he thought he was doing, that or would have felt extremely uncomfortable, if he had held his head in such close proximity to hers and started mummering things in her ear. As it was, things had changed between them so much that Hermione didn't even think twice as she pulled him closer to hear better.

Him knowing about her hopeless attachment where Fred was concerned had made them partners in crime. Hermione, a reluctant one despite the fact it had been her who had divulged the makings of her own doom in the first place, and George obviously far too comfortable in the role. She had insisted that George swear he never told anyone about how she felt about Fred, even threatening him with an Unbreakable Vow, though they both knew (or rather, George hoped) that she would never actually resort to it.

He knew that a witch in love was not someone to mess with and was therefore bound by his honour as a joker and hooligan never to let on that he knew the direction of the heartstrings of Hermione Granger.

"I don't suppose there's much point in asking about how things are going with the look-a-like of the most handsome guy in school?" she ground her teeth and let go of the part of his shirt she had been using to pull him closer with a bit more force than was strictly needed. "Non-existent, as usual, he'll never see me as more than his little brother's best friend, just like you."

"I don't know Hermione, you've filled out a bit since then," he grinned deviously at her and she aimed a kick in his direction that he dodged just in time to see the blush on her cheeks. "Shut up, you moron, I'm going to be late for Charms."

"But I haven't even asked you my question yet! Come on Hermione…" it was desperately hard to deny someone who had the same face as the person she was in love with, but she persevered.

"I don't have time for this," she snapped, but he could see her crumbling.

"I even ditched my-in your foolish opinion-better half to be here. I had to get him in a conversation with Lee before I could even consider slipping off."

Considering it was almost impossible to separate the twins, Hermione was impressed. "Alright, what is it?"

He grinned again roguishly, picked her up in one quick swirl and set her back down again. "Knew you couldn't resist me."

She ignored this, crossed her arms and waited, "You have to tell me what time Malfoy's on prefect duty, his holiness your crush and I are planning something special for the ferret."

She frowned at him, "That's it?"

"That's it?" George looked deeply offended "You're only being offered the privilege to assist in an infamously genius, Weasley twin prank!"

She let a small smile escape her lips at his mortification and relented, "Two until four on the second and third floors."

George beamed, looked like he was about to twirl Hermione once more, and watched as she made a swift exit, admiring the view as she hurried off to charms. Hey, he hadn't been lying when he'd said she'd filled out, and in all the right places too. Just because she was head-over-heels for his twin didn't mean he wasn't a _man_. He shook his head, when Fred stopped arsing about and started realising he really was very lucky to have someone like Hermione after him was the day George stopped ogling a cute butt.

Oh, and what a nice view it was.

Unsurprisingly, Flitwick was not exactly fuming when his favourite student turned up a couple of minutes late. Ron scowled as she sat down "If that had been anyone else they'd be stuck with detentions right now!" he muttered under his breath.

Hermione flicked her hair and rolled her eyes, "Having an immaculate record has its uses, maybe if you had handed your homework in on time a little more often you wouldn't be complaining. He huffed and wriggled down into his chair further, a clear sign that not handing his homework in on time was something on his mind at the moment.

Harry was brooding, something else that was unsurprising. Harry's mood swings were worse than Hermione with P.M.S (which was, she could admit herself, saying something) one minute he was happy as pie the next-well, hormonally-charged adolescent rage was becoming a frequent visitor to the Golden Trio's time together. Ofcourse, she didn't blame him, Harry always had a lot on his plate: girls, the press, a deranged and supremely powerful dark wizard after his skin. Sometimes though she wished he would get over his 'time of the month' and deal with it like the rest of the female race. No such luck.

She leaned over to his desk, "Hey, Harry, what's wrong?"

He snapped out of his brooding exterior (which Ginny was always telling Hermione was so unbelievably cute) to realise that his other best friend had entered the room. "Oh, hi 'Mione, where've you been? Not like you to be late."

She stiffened, "I forgot my books, had to go back for them-but answer my question, what's up?"

"Hmmm," he shrugged and gave her a wane grin, "You know, same old stuff." She nodded sympathetically (hey, just because she found him annoying didn't mean she couldn't _comfort_ her irritating friend) and leant across to put her hand on his.

A malevolent whisper hit their backs, arriving in the voice of-whom else?- the bastardly bouncing ferret boy, the terror of all first years (and any other younger years now you come to mention it), the drooling object of Pansy Parkinson, the Slytherin Pig rather than prince: Draco Malfoy.

"Hey, Potty, please get the monstrosity that is that-what do you call her-a girl? Well can you remove her ugly mug from my eye-line before I am forced to vomit."

Always the hero Harry's knuckles tightened beneath Hermione's hand, ready to defend the damsel in distress' honour to the death. Said Damsel rolled her eyes and leant back in her chair, extricating her hand from Harry's (which was now actually a fist) with a mummer that he wasn't worth it. Harry consoled himself with a glare in the smirking blonde's direction before returning to brooding, this time probably about his unhealthy obsession with injuring Malfoy.

Checking no-one was looking, especially not Ron or Harry, Hermione twisted in her seat and smirked straight back at Malfoy, raising her middle finger behind her chair nice and visibly before mouthing clearly and slowly two words. But we must think of the children folks, so lets just say the first word began with an F and the second was simply: You.

The smile disappeared off Draco's pale, aristocratic features as Hermione turned back to the front of the room. Ofcourse, this kind of exchange from Hermione was no news to Malfoy, he knew she had no reservations about using any of the more…_colourful_ language in her dictionary in his presence, but Ron and Harry were a different matter. The poor boys though she was some kind of saint, innocent as the day she was born and oblivious to any kind of foul play they were surrounded by. It would worry them too much if they knew she was capable of such things, so she left them in their ignorance and consequently, in their bliss. Besides, she was always telling Ron off for his language anyway.

As for Malfoy's actual comment, well, she couldn't care less, and if he was really so disgusted by her, then why did he keep staring at her breasts?

Flitwick was talking about something Hermione had already read extensively about and she allowed her mind to wander. Her encounter with George had left her thinking about when she had declared her love. For Fred, to George, that is. She gazed out the window, taping her quill absentmindedly and remembering…

_The Gryffindor common room was noticeably absent of people and, consequently, noise. The only students left enjoying the lights of the slowly dying fire was that of a brown, not-quite-so-bushy-as-it-used-to-be haired girl and a red-headed boy. The girl was frowning down at some Arithmancy homework, not really taking it in. The boy rustled the forms for some joke products, filling out some information thoughtfully. _

_All that could be heard was the scratching of quills. _

_Harry and Ron had given up on their homework and retreated to their dormitory, and after spending the evening testing their products on the younger years, earning a reprimanding from Hermione, eventually Fred had followed the footsteps of the rest of the house and gone to bed, leaving George to finish up. _

_The silence pressed in on Hermione, her thoughts straying into much more complicated territory than Arithmancy. It was ridiculous really, she couldn't concentrate on school work, she had those incessant dreams at night, in the day all she did was day-dream all because of…him. _

_The room was suddenly devoid of any noise at all. No quill scratching, no paper rustling. George was watching the form of Hermione Granger sitting poker straight in her chair, tense and unmoving. "Hermione…err…are you all right?" _

_She turned, dropping her quill on her parchment and looking at him with a pained expression. _

"_I can't take it anymore, George." _

_**What are you doing?** Her mind screamed. **He's his BROTHER-he'll tell him!** _

_George stared at her "P-pardon?" _

_**Tell Ginny, or Harry-even lavender-ANYONE but him!** _

"_I have to tell someone." _

_**No! You stupid girl!** _

"_George…"_

_**STOP!** _

"_I'm in love with your brother." _


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey! We're back! Sorry about the long wait-you know, review encourages the creative juices *hint***

_Chapter Two_

_There_ _was a resounding silence filling the room. Hermione sat, biting her lip in horror at what she'd done. George stared at her for a beat, then two, finally, just when Hermione thought she'd be able to work up the nerve to run from the room in mortification he cleared his throat. _

"_That's-er-wonderful Hermione!" _

_She stared at him, "I-it is?" _

"_Of course, Fred and I had it narrowed down to Ron or Harry, my money was on Harry to be honest but hey, we Weasley men are an irresistible bunch. Mum'll be thrilled, she's been hoping you and Ron'd get together for ages, reckons you're a good influence on him." _

_Realisation dawned on Hermione and she finally got the mistake he had made, and felt something way, way beyond mortification, complete and utter humiliation was a bit more like it. _

"_Oh God!" she clapped her hands over her face and murmured uncontrollably into them "Oh god, oh god, oh god!" From the sound of George's voice, he was starting to become quite anxious about Hermione's state of mind. _

"_Erm, are you okay? Look, it's fine, honest, if you haven't told Ron yet it'll be our little secret," she peeked between her fingers as he grinned roguishly, reminding her of a certain someone-and making the situation entirely worse, forcing an explicative from her mouth. _

"_No, Merlin! I don't mean RON!" she moaned._

_There was a stunned silence, this time it was George's turn to be mortified. "Y-you don't?" _

"_Oh no, no, no!" Hermione mumbled to herself rather than in answer to George's question, trying to avoid his eyes. She thought if she just told someone she would feel so much better, relieved, instead it was a nightmare. How did she get herself into this? _

_George chuckled slightly, "You're going to have to help me out here Hermione, I do have five brothers after all." _

_Hermione concentrated on not hyperventilating. "Well, if it's not Ron…" George seemed to roll the idea around in his head, his expression grew pained, _

"_Oh Merlin-it's not _Bill _is it?" _

_Hermione sniffed and shook her head. _

"_Good, it's just, everyone tends to fall for Bill." _

_Hermione blushed furiously into her lap, still unable to speak. Was her unrequited love really THAT unrequited that no-one could even guess it's source? _

"_Wait a minute, if it isn't Ron or Harry, why are you telling me who-" he broke off, _

"_Oh." He said it quietly, then- "OH!" _

_She looked up to see if he had reached the right conclusion and found her fears confirmed. He looked at her in what appeared to be astonishment. _

"_Fred." _

"_Yes," she said quietly and through watery eyes. _

"_But…you're Hermione," _

"_Yes," _

"_And…he's my twin," _

"_Yes," _

"_I mean…you're _Hermione!"

"_Yes?" she said somewhat testily this time, _

"_And he's, well, he's Fred Weasley…" _

_Hermione snapped. "Yes, I am in love with Fred Weasley, your twin, Gryffindor red-head, is it really that hard to believe?" _

_George looked both taken aback and amused, he settled on grinning sheepishly, "Well it's just so unlikely, I mean, c'mon Bill, yeah, I can see that-what with him being so dashing and everything, Charlie was quite brainy in his time, even Percy has got that whole book-worm thing going for him but-Fred? No offence to him, or myself for that matter seeing as we are practically identical," he grinned broader now "but what do you see in him?" _

_Hermione, admittedly, could see his point. At first she couldn't explain what it was, she had always thought that she was above the twin's obvious attraction, their sense of humour. But the more and more she believed that Fred's prankster charm passed her by unaffected, the more she found herself falling irrevocably in love with him. _

_He was daring and outrageous, mischievous-everything she wasn't-and kind on top of all that (not to mention he was irresistibly cute.) _

_She summed this all up in a shrug, "Opposites attract?" she said weakly. _

_George looked at her in disbelief for a second then burst out laughing. _

_Hermione frowned at him "What's so funny?" _

_George wiped a tear from his eyes, "Oh Merlin," he gasped, still giggling, "I was just imagining the look on mum's face when she finds out, it's going to be priceless!" _

_Hermione quavered at the thought of what Mrs Weasley would make of the situation. "I know everyone thought I was going to end up with either Harry or Ron, like you said, but Harry is head-over-heels for Ginny, I'd have thought that was obvious, and Ron is like a brother to me, and I'm pretty sure he sees me as a sister…" she sighed, wondering what on earth she was going to do now. _

"_So, when are you going to tell him?" _

_Whatever Hermione had been thinking of doing it was not that. _

"_Tell him?! Are you insane?" _

_George stared at her, "You're not considering carrying on as if nothing has happened?" He waggled his eyebrows dangerously "Now _I _know." _

_Hermione shook her head crossing her arms resolutely, "Nope, it's not going to happen!" _

_George grinned for what seemed about the hundredth time, "Well, if you won't tell him, I will," he said, heading for the boy's dormitory stairs. _

_Hermione whipped out her wand before you could point out the opportunity for a euphemism. "George Weasley, you take another step and I swear I'll obliviate you!" _

_George spluttered and Hermione narrowed her eyes "I'm deadly serious." _

"_Fine, fine," George held his hands up as if to calm a wild animal (not too far off then) and his normal grin became what is widely known as a Grade 2 Weasley twin Smirk categorised as a warning sign of a statement cute, devious and inappropriate in delicate situations. "But, Hermione," he began, _

"_Ye-es?" she said warily. _

"_Promise I can be there when you DO tell him?" he batted his eyelids in a way which he must have believed was endearing._

_Hermione's words were punctuated by thrusts of her wand as she swiftly bewitched a near-b y cushion and began battering George over the head with it._

"_I am-not-going-to-tell-him!" George ducked out of reach of the cushion, stared at it, blinked, stared at Hermione, blinked and grinned, "I didn't know you had it in you, Hermione" something about his smile made Hermione grin back. George grabbed his own cushion and proceeded to fight back. One hell of a pillow-fight commenced. _

As unlikely as it seemed that pillow fight had forged something between George and her. When they had collapsed, red-faced and laughing, onto armchairs in the common room, Hermione had felt some kind of relief, someone knew about her secret, true, but that someone was reliable, once she had gotten a promise of silence out of George that is.

However, she and George had never really _talked _before, but it seemed that as soon as the gate was opened there was no going back. Before she knew it familiarity had turned into a bizarre kind of friendship, more risqué than that with Ron and Harry which was soft and comfortable, the sense of companionship she seemed to be developing with George was something new and different.

He wasn't surprised when she displayed any kind of resemblance to being female, (unlike Ron-and at times even Harry-who seemed to think she was dead from the neck down) and despite her previous comment, her being his little brother's best friend didn't seemed to matter when she had a thing for his twin.

He saw her as something other than the third member of the golden trio, or the unapproachable Gryffindor book-worm and it was uncomplicated by any chance of romantic attachment, enamoured as she was with his brother. Somehow she'd found a pocket of understanding in a place quite unexpected, that didn't mean, of course, that he couldn't be highly annoying at times.

Before she knew it the lesson had ended and she was jerked out of her reverie to file out of the classroom with the rest. Malfoy whispered a foul comment in her ear as they departed but she merely smirked back. She turned back to Ron and Harry, and sighed exasperatedly at the sight of them, it was like a dark cloud hung over the two of them, Harry was brooding (again) and Ron was watching the retreating back of Malfoy, having taken up Harry's role of imagining ways to hurt him.

Sometime she found it hard to believe she was supposed to be the temperamental one.


End file.
